Monday, July 12, 2010

Housemaid wanted.


Im having a rough day so Im not sure how this post will translate.  I haven't had a shower in two days, Amelia just opened all my outgoing mail and tore up the checks inside them, Ezra tore a cupboard door completely off, and Ivy refuses to nap. 
I guess I will start by explaining the reason we didn't post last week was cause my computer was down and Naomi is sooooo busy with her life that she couldn't get on and post her and Leah's.  Thanks Pal!

Anyway, so the kids and I loved having Andrew here.  An extra set of eyes, ears, and hands is AWESOME.  Some friends we have not seen in years drove down to see Andrew while he was here which was so awesome and exciting.  We also got to go see Eclipse, which was so fricken amazing.  Anyway, it seemed at first like he would be here for a long time, than all of a sudden it was time for him to go and I couldn't believe how quick it seemed.  The kids bawled when we had to drop him off at the airport and ran straight into the office where he slept when we got home and cried some more.  So sad :(  It has seemed super lonely now that It's just us again.  Granted Andrew is not the biggest conversationalist but you dont always have to be talking to keep someone company.  It was actually not super duper hot while he was here!  It was in the 100's, but I dont think it got past 110.  It's supposed to be 114 for three days this week.  That's just too hot.

Not much is going on as far as outside of life in general.  The next thing to really look forward to is Ezra and Ivys birthdays coming up and those are still kinda far off.  I have been trying to really keep up on the house but it honestly seems like the harder I try to keep things nice the more the kids try to tear everything apart.
I am beyond frustrated and felt pretty defeated for a while.  Now I am just kinda chugging along, cause what else can I do.  Ryan has been helping me so much, even though hes not a super difficult shift and is not getting alot of sleep.  He's a really amazing man and the best friend I have ever had.  Little Ivy is really starting to adore him and squeals everytime she see's him. 
I really wonder how the rest of the year is going to turn out.  It's never like you think.
And no one, no matter what they think, understands.  No one understands and It's so irritating that they think they do.  If I had a dollar for everytime someone has told me they have "been there".....nope sorry you haven't...your kids are 2 years apart...and you have friends and family have never....ever...been here.  The other one I love is "It's just a season of life"....there's nothing that makes me want to swear more than retarded people saying cliche obvious statements like that.  Of fricken course it is stupid...but that doesn't make it suck any less.  I'm just tired. 

We went to church Wednesday night.  I love this church.  They are so loving and the teaching is exactly that, teaching!  There are waaaay to many preachers out there and not enough teachers.  The ladies in the nursery are always great and the kids love being in there.  Amelia always come out with some little paper or craft she made and talks about singing about Jesus.  It's such a nice change from just reading at home when I get the chance or even remember to!

So a couple of weeks ago I mentioned everyone should come out here for Thanksgiving...I dont think anyone has even thought about it :)  Well Im pretty determined to get my mom and the kids out here so they're all going to be pretty sore when they dont have a thanksgiving dinner cause they didn't plan ahead and come out.  It really irritates me.  It could be totally awesome and fun if they would just consider it and maybe plan for it. 

So obviously Im just a really pissed off annoyed individual right now...but omg my kids are driving me nuts.
So thats all I will post today.. Im thinking of trying to write throughout the week instead of just doing a weeks summary at the end of the week.  We'll see how that goes :)
I am soooo unpersonal... At least that's what I was accused of when I sent in my blog for this week. Luckily I get another chance. So here we go.

This week sucked. Like every day. I spent as much time at my friends house as I could. And that turned around and bit me in the ass. Because now of course I am being accused of sleeping around. But pretty much any time I want to do anything but sit on the couch all night long I get accused of being out sucking dick. Hows that for personal? I've come to the conclusion that since he cheated on me in the beginning of our relationship, he's NEVER going to trust that I wont turn around and do it to him. And just because he doesn't like people means I'm not supposed to either!
He doesn't want me to have friends and go out and have fun. He just wants me home all the time. But at the same time. He has no desire to give me what I want if I am going to stay home! I'd be perfectly happy being a stay at home wife and mother. But a stay at home girlfriend is rediculious. I can't just sit around this house all day alone. It's miserable. I am so ready to be a Mother. And he just keeps pushing the day further and further away. He's got his son. What does it matter to him? Our wants are just so different. I don't feel like I make him happy anymore. But maybe that's because I'm not happy.
In other news. Both my dryer and my dishwasher decided to die this week. So I got to do dishes by hand AND hang clothes on a make shift clothes line. So much fun....
I hung out with my brother Daniel twice this week. Which is awesome. And I really like this girl he's with. He took Mom and I out to dinner the other night. Fajitas and Margaritas! Cant get much better than that. Then Mom and I went to Khols and hit the sales racks:) It was amazing. That was definitely the best night this week.
That's the best I can do. I'll try harder next time. I'm emotionally drained and really am not ready to talk about it yet!


So last week was nothing special during the week, but it was 4th of July weekend! Saturday we went shopping to try to find some good holiday deals, yeah it didn’t go too well, but Sunday was fun! We had some friends over, did fireworks in the drive way and just hung out and had fun!!!
Jesse is actually in school now so he is gone everyday pretty much all day, then when he gets home he has to study! So im doing things to try to keep myself busy. Its so weird how different things are when you are doing them yourself and not just watching someone else do them. For instance. I thought I knew how to do dishes, cook, what food to freeze, refrigerate, ect. Well it turns out im not too good at of it. I was out of dishwashing soap the other week but the dishes HAD to be done, so instead of just doing them by hand, I decided to be lazy and do them in the dishwasher anyways. I put the dish soap in the dishwasher detergent spot and started it up. I came back later to put away my clean dishes…….well they were clean…but my kitchen was not. It was COVERED in guessed it! BUBBLES….yeah, Im a little slow.
Also, last week I went grocery shopping got lots of new and different things, I put everything in the fridge where I thought it belonged…well a few days later something smelled a little fishy….I opened the fridge to see what it was, but it wasn’t just one thing, It was the hamburger, steak, and ham that I put in the bottom of the fridge, It looked different than it did when I first bought it, I did what I always do and went straight to Google the situation, well it turns out meat can only be in the fridge for 1-3 days…not that was a lot of food and money wasted. Oh the joys of being a new housewife….a lot of learning that’s for sure!
Last night we decided to change it up and switch sides of the bed haha, it was just a joke at first but we actually fell asleep that way, it was so weird, I slept better on his side of the bed then I have the whole time we have been here!
We went to church this morning, it was fun! I really like out church. After church it was major house cleaning time! After cleaning I headed to the store again to get some stuff for Jesse to take in his lunch J
Oh yeah…. I got pulled over today, I only got a warning...but STILL! It was my first time and I was terrified, good thing I looked good today J
Life is pretty interesting right now, I never thought it would turn out this way, but I am happy and thankful for all that I have.

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