Monday, January 18, 2010

Hello 2010, treat us well.

Wow what a week.....actually two weeks since we took a holiday break. We pretty much skipped christmas entirely here. Ryan worked both Christmas and Christmas eve so they were just normal days except that I knew better. I tried to make it a little special by getting the kids some little things in their stockings.  They were really excited about that :)

Christmas day Ryan got home and watched the kids for me (yes, all three of them) while I went to the spa! It was my first time and it was ah-mazing!

I had a sitz bath in a jet tub on my own little outdoor patio. They have water with orange and cucumber next the bath which is filled with bubbles and jets :) Then after about 15 minutes my masseuse knocked on the door to let me know she was waiting, then it was down the hall for an hour long full body massage. I could have stayed there forever...seriously. After that I had a facial which left my skin feeling like little Ivy's super soft baby skin. Best present EVER!

Ryan's family came on the 29th for New Years so I was desperatly trying to get the house in order while being chased and in turn chasing the kids around. The day before they came Ivy wouldn't let me put her down and Ezra decided that would be the perfect day to tear everything apart he could get his hands on. And Amelia, who is oddly my good one now, played in straight mud and put it in her hair, but of course didn't come inside until it had dried....oh man. I had to go shopping that evening so when Ryan got home I took Amelia and Ivy and went to the grocery stores. Got tons of stuff, got home, made dinner, put the kids to bed, carried in and put away all the groceries and then attempted to clean out the car cause Amelia had fallen asleep in the car on the way home and pee'd in her seat. Yay..... pee.

Anyway I got to bed at around 3:00am and then woke up at 6:00am with Ryan to make his lunch and send him on his way. It was rough.

I somehow made it through the day, with the help of coffee and plain old stubborn will! I had to run to the store again cause no one had any pillows and we didn't have enough sheets for all the beds. So I grabbed Ezra and went to Target. They didn't end up getting to the house until 12:00am and then it took anther hour to get everyone settled into bed. I was exhausted!

It went fairly well. No fist fights, no break downs=Good visit :)

Entirely off of the holiday talk I am having a mini emotional breakdown over this whole stupid airline ticket deal. I was planning on going to Michigan for a couple days Jan 14-18, by using a flight voucher that I have had for almost a year, and its somehow a huge deal. It was revoked and then reactivated and now they are supposedly sending it to me via snail mail and its taking FOREVER!! I am going to be so upset if I cant be there when my little brother gets out of jail. Plus my parents are getting divorced and I really want to be there for my mom to give her a little break and help her enjoy life for a couple days. I pray it all works out and comes together. Until next time....Be safe!

Has it really only been a week? It seems like so much more time has passed than that. And firsts things first.

Christmas Eve was fun. We went to my parents house in the evening. It was hard we were missing so many kids this year! Joey working, Rachel in California, Naomi with Jesse and his family and Andrew held up:( It seemed so small. Ryan and I did as much as we could for the kids and my mom, I think they had fun and liked their presents so I was happy. Ryan and I had a good night together preparing. I made the cheesy potato casserole and the green bean casserole and the cookies and cheese cake balls so I would have less to do in the morning.

We woke up at 8 am and lazily laid around till 8:30 when we got up and drank our glass cokes and got our stockings then opened our presents from each other. He got me so much stuff I'm so blessed. Mostly books cuz Im a nerd;) We chilled around and ate cinnamon twists I made till about 11:00 Then got ready and made everything else and I went and got Jakey and got home pretty much just in time to welcome Grandpa and Grandma Wells! Its was a great day, we all ate A LOT of food and opened a lot of presents. Jake was the highlight of everyone's day though. So cute! After everyone was gone for the night Ryan and I relaxed and enjoyed each others company till bedtime.

Monday night Me, Naomi and Katie and Annie, (two of our very best friends from like forever( got together at Katie's house for pizza, movies, champagne, beer pong, oreos and good old talks. Sadly. I think the weeks of drinking was more than my body could handle because I woke up in the middle of the night sick as I ever was. I was awake all night and had to wake the girls up to take me home (two hours away!!) at 8:30 am ruining our breakfast plans. The next two days were as miserable as my sickness has ever been. Spending most of my time in a hot bath or heaving over the bead is not my way to spend 2 days, by the 3rd I couldn't take it and Ryan took me to the emergency room on his way to

work. It took 3 hours for them
to get me into an er room and 3 more hours before they admitted me into the hospital. But finally relief from the pain!! I could breathe again. My hands move at will. I am so sick and tired of this....THING ruining my life. I wish they could figure out what it is. They kept me in the hospital till Friday because my potassium levels were to low. So New Years didn't look like anything special in my point of view. I knew Ryan had to work anyway and with the meds they had me on I was asleep by 9:30 on the 31'st. But Ryan quietly woke me up from beside my bed at one minute till midnight and we watched the ball drop then he kissed me and whispered for me to go back to sleep and that he loved me. It was like a dream. A great dream.

And finally. Today was Ryan's 27'th birthday. I didn't to do nearly as much for him as I'd have liked to do. But I took him to dinner and we got some movies and adding some other things all in all had a wonderful day together. I could probably go on, but my throat is so sore from being sick all I want after all I ate today is a soothing milkshake so I must go prepare one.
My Christmas was wonderful! Probably one of the best iv ever had. After that, everything pretty much went down hill.

Saying goodbye to the one you love is the hardest thing in the world. Sunday night, December 27th 2009 was one of the best/worst nights of my life. Jesse had to spend the night at a hotel with about 20 other military personnel. We drove to the hotel at around 6pm, thinking I would just drop him off and leave. When we got there and he signed in and everything was starting to settle down he found out that he could have visitors until 11pm! Not in is room, only in the lobby, but of course I stayed the whole time. It was bitter-sweet. We had some of the best conversations we have ever had! But they weren’t always happy and easy ones, and even if they were happy somehow tears were always there, and not just on my part either!!!!

We sat, we walked around, we talked and talked and talked. Saying goodbye that night wasn’t hard at all because I knew I would see him in the morning. But I also knew that it wouldn’t be the same, because it wouldn’t be just the two of us. The next morning I woke up way earlier than I needed too and threw whatever clothes were closest to me on, I skipped the makeup because I knew it would all end up coming off anyways. I came down stairs and sat with jesses dad for about an hour before everyone was ready to go. It was me, his little brother Tj, and his parents. We drove to Lansing to the MEPS center to watch Jesse swear into the Army. That was a really cool thing to do and see and I know that I will never forget it. After that we followed the bus full of new Army men and women to the airport. We had about 2 hours before he had to leave. We all sat around a table drinking coffee and talking casually. I didn’t talk much, my mind was going crazy and Jesse could tell, after a while he suggested that we take a walk, so him and I took a walk around the tiny Lansing airport while he calmed me down and re-assured me that everything was going to be fine.

Saying out final goodbye at the airport was nothing like I imagined, it was fast and I could tell that he didn’t want to cry so he hugged and kissed me and told me he would see me soon and walked away. Of course at the time I was devastated and couldn’t control myself but looking back at it now I realize that it was the best way to do it, rather then making It a big dramatic scene.

That night I knew I needed to get out of the house and away from everyone. I drove to battle creek to meet Leah and Annie and we took off to Detroit to have a girls night at Katie’s house! We ate the best pizza and bread sticks known to man, watched some movies that no one even remembers watching and played some super fun games! The night was full of quotes and laughs…and some tears here and there but over all it was a great night. At the time I was thinking about all the funny things I had to remember to write in my blog, and now I don’t remember ANY of them!! I guess you had to be there.

The whole next week was slow and dramatic and wow I just wanted to run away and live by my self somewhere for a few months! My new years consisted of me, alone, watching deal or no deal on the couch with a box of chocolate and some dr. pepper. It was my own fault, it was actually what I wanted to do, I did not feel like going anywhere or doing anything fun, which sounds bad but it’s the truth.

I went a paid a visit to my Prego friend Casey! That was fun, I hadn’t seen her in months! I cant wait for her to have her little twins, its pretty much the only thing I have to look forward to this whole month.

So at first, because I was so bored I just ate like all the time, it kept me happy and occupied. But I woke up today at well….2pm and it’s the first day that I don’t get to talk to Jesse, and food has never sounded more disgusting in my life. I cant even think about it without wanted to throw up and that’s not good. I don’t know what to do with myself, I am so bored but I don’t want to see anyone or do anything so im pretty much just stuck, sitting here doing nothing all the time. I hate when people talk to me and ask me how im doing! Sure if one of my close friends who actually really cares about how im doing asks me then its fine, but when I get random phone calls and messages from people I hardly know or never talk to asking me how im doing, I kind of want to murder them. Really! I know I cant be like this, I sound SO lame! Im the one that usually makes fun of people who do this kind of stuff and yells at them to get a life. But now that its me in this situation, and I know how they actually feel…I don’t even know what to say. I do the things that I love doing and they don’t even seem fun to me anymore….I went shopping with Leah and I didn’t even want to be there, I just stared into space thinking about how bad I wanted to go home and sleep and I wasn’t even tired! Hopefully this is just a phase and it will all get better in time. No one notices or really knows because I act happy and smile all the time because I don’t want extra attention from anyone because I know it will only make things worse, if that’s even possible.