Thanksgiving

I am finally getting around to LAST weeks blog. We spent all week up north visiting Ryan's family so its not like I don't have a good excuse. But still...geesh.
So..
The Holiday went pretty well. Its not really a huge change for me cause I still just sit in the house with the baby while everyone else goes and plays or whatever. But at least I'm not alone. Ezra was so clingy the whole time and if neither Ryan or I was holding him he was screaming and crying. So that was fun.
Ivy was incredibly good and cried maybe one time the entire week. And Amelia of course had a blast with everyone. It was nice to be in cold weather for a little while, but man when we started driving home and hit that 70 degree mark it was awesome. I love where we live!
Anyway, back to the Holiday. So Thanksgiving is always kinda hard for me cause its my favorite holiday and I hate not seeing my family. I wish I could be there to help my mom cook, since I know the other two girls aren't really reliable in that department. I actually don't know if Leah can cook, but I do know shes really good at dropping things and misreading recipes. Not a good combination. I'm hoping maybe next year we can spend Thanksgiving in Michigan. We'll see I suppose. So I really didn't eat to much, I hate stuffing myself so I somehow learned to eat just enough and it feels so good! Then we had a boggle match, of which I won. Of course. All my practice of playing it by myself must have paid off. Then everyone just kinda sat around and talked. The next day my sister in law, Carli, informed me she had never had a S'more!! I was so appalled that we drove to the store and bought S'more stuff. It was my one and only trip out of the house all vacation. While we were out Ryan called and told me to buy ping pong balls. So after walking up and down all the isle's we finally asked a kid who worked there. He led the way handed us the balls and then proclaimed "Beer Pong is ON!!" we just kinda looked at him like he was an idiot, then turned and walked away. So we went home and made S'mores in the fireplace and it was amazing. I haven't had a s'more in so long.
Saturday we had to go pick up the rental car from the Sacramento Airport and to kill time we walked around the Woodland Mall which is an outdoor mall. I love outdoor malls. I bought two pairs of jeans so I could stop washing the one pair that fit me everyday. I was so happy when I got on the scale after we got home and saw I didn't gain any weight on vacation. I really think this no soda thing is a huge factor.
One exciting thing is in the works. Both Ryan and I have tickets that expire in February, but we don't have the time or the money to take a trip anywhere...soooo I might be going to Michigan with just my baby Ivy for a little trip. I want to so bad but at the same time I really really miss my kids when there gone for more then an hour or two. I would worry about Ryan too. But I'm still excited and I think they would have fun without me, even though Ryan insists it would be terrible. Were still trying to figure it all out so no promises yet. Anyway, I suppose that's all I have for last week. It was pretty long and boring, and as happy as I am that we went and got to see everyone, I'm happy to be home.
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Well my week started off a little bad. I'm having a really hard time with the loss of my kittens:( And some stupid girl tried to lay claim to my man. Don't worry that will get taken care of.I got to babysit for my friend Kat again. Her baby boy is bringing new joy to my life every week. And of course this week was Thanksgiving! Ryan went to my parents house and it was wonderful spending time with my siblings and dear Mother. My Dad even got out of bed for awhile! The food was of course wonderful and I ate as much as I could and brought my own Tupperware so I wouldn't have to cook for Ry the next day. Speaking of the next day. Only one of the best days of the year. I did not go to bed Thursday night but stayed up with my baby till about 3am when I left to stand in line at Kohl's for their huge sale. Of course Michigan decided to hold the snow off this year until I had to stand out in it freezing my ass off. But it was worth it. I am so so excited about Christmas this year. I got quite allot of my Christmas shopping done and am very happy the results. I do wish I had more sisters. Its so much more fun shopping for girls... But anyways, I got home from my shopping expedition at around 9 and then slept till 3pm to make up for it. Then I got to wake up and spend some good quality time with my Man. And I know I'm a week behind the times but I finally got to see New Moon! My friends Heather and Katrena came and took me out and it was one of the best movies ever. But the long girl talk we all had in my living room after we got home was almost better. I don't get enough girl time and that's a fact. I'm gonna work on that in the future. I loved the time I got to spend with those dear women but it made me realize all the more how badly I want a family of my own. Hearing them talk about their children gave me a longing ache inside. It didn't hurt as bad as it used to. But Oh I want a baby. I will be so much happier when the Mother inside of me is allowed to come out! Jake calls me "Mama Leela" and hearing mama in any form warms my heart. But I know he just calls me that because Ryan calls me Mama. Jake and are more of good buddies:) Which is fine, I just cant wait to have his little brother or sister. Buying Jake presents was lots of fun knowing I'm going to be playing with them as much as he is. I just wish I could get more for people. I'd love to buy Jake's mother something nice. And my Grandparent's for the times they have me out financially in the past two years. I got my own Mother nice things though! Oh I cant wait for Christmas. I'm decorating the house tomorrow and I smile just thinking about it. I'm finally getting help from the state but its not enough to talk about. Shh, I'm working part time under the table at a bar. Not my favorite place but sometimes I have fun and its nice to get out and really nice to pay bills. I have been in such a spectacular mood the last few days and I'm not sure what I owe to but sure am thankful. Maybe these damn medications have finally worked together to make me well. I cant believe I haven't been to the hospital in 2 1/2 months. Its a new record! I know my life isn't as interesting when its less dramatic but oh does it feel good to be happy. I am thankful. Thankful for God my heavenly father. For my parents, For my siblings, Joey, Rachel, Daniel, Naomi, Andrew, Seth, Levi, Mark, Esther, and Micah. For Ryan who is the best thing that ever happened to me. For Ryan's family who accepted me as one of their own without a second thought. For my wonderful house. Great friends. And pain in the ass Cats, Chronic, Raina, Douja, and Pookie:) Thank you Lord for what you have given me.

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Oh Holiday breaks, I adore you! I had two days of school this week, Monday went by quickly before I even realized it was Tuesday and my last day for the week. After school on Tuesday I got all “dressed up” and went out for some quality bonding time with Steve, Jesses dad. He took me hunting! For the very first time ever…I never really had the desire to go but he kept talking about it and it caught my interest and I figured my life is pretty boring so why not try something new. We went out for about 2 ½ hours and we sat there...and sat there…and yeah finally decided to call it a night. We didn’t see anything…not even a bird or a bug…it was silent and still in the cold, windy woods.
Wednesday I cleaned the house, then went home and helped my mom get motivated to clean her house…it didn’t work so well we were both so blah we didn’t feel like doing anything,
Thursday was Thanksgiving of course. At around 1 or 1:30 Jesse and I headed over to my moms house for thanksgiving with my family. We stayed about 2 1/2 hours, enough time to eat a little bit, talk a while and say our goodbyes. Next we headed over to his family’s for thanksgiving….there was…A TON of people. The house isn’t very big so it was quite the adventure. We brought dusty ( the kitten) and Jesses mom kept referring to him as her grand baby haha It made everyone laugh. It was a really fun day, we ate a lot and got to spend time with some really nice people. The worst part, when we went to see New Moon, we made a little deal. He told me that if he took me to see it, then I have to go see this movie Ninja Assassin with him. I agreed, thinking he would forget or I would get out of it somehow…but I didn’t. and it was the worst movie I have ever seen……truly. But oh well, a deal is a deal.
Friday we went out for some shooting practice before hunting again Friday afternoon. Again, we sat there for a few hours and saw nothing. Jesse came with us this time so it kind of made things a little more interesting. I got so cold super fast, so we headed back to the car early. I felt bad, but when I cant feel my toes or nose I don’t really care anymore.
Well Saturday…hmmm Oh yes, we “took that day”. haha it’s a new saying that Jesse is in love with. It means to just lay around ALL day and do nothing. And we did it very well. It was actually a lot of fun :) at around 6 we decided we better get up for at least a few hours. We went down the road and visited some of Jesses close friends. We were only there for maybe two hours, then back home to watch a movie and call it a night.
Sunday is church of course :) I love going to church but hate it at the same time. It always makes me so emotional. All these people coming up to him asking him about his training and all that stuff. Then giving me these awful looks of sympathy and telling me they better still see me around while he’s gone. They used to ask me if I was going with him, but that ended after about four weeks and a lot of aggravation. Now all I get is “aww you poor thing“, and “oh honey I’m sorry“….yeah well really, I would rather just ignore it and not have people talk to me and sympathize for me. So after church I pretty much fell apart. I could not control myself no matter how hard I tried. I hate crying around Jesse. It makes me feel weak or something, like I cant handle what’s about to happen. But I can handle it, I know I can. He didn’t mind though, he just held me and let me cry, tried to feed me chocolate and turned on all my favorite shows. I would stop every now and then for a while and be totally fine, then he would say or do something and send me straight back into my overwhelming emotional state. I love him so much, his words of comfort for me were “oh don’t worry, its just part of your cycle” haha that one made me laugh, he also said I was having an “off” day because it was cold and rainy outside, which is partly true. Well that’s pretty much it for the most part. Everything went really well this week. I had a lot of fun, and a lot of re-assurance that everything is gong to be fine.