Hello anyone and everyone out there....
Just wanted to stop in and let you know that will be back in a week or so with lots of updates and plenty of drama.
Until then!
Be Safe ;-)
Friday, February 12, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Hello 2010, treat us well.
Wow what a week.....actually two weeks since we took a holiday break. We pretty much skipped christmas entirely here. Ryan worked both Christmas and Christmas eve so they were just normal days except that I knew better. I tried to make it a little special by getting the kids some little things in their stockings. They were really excited about that :)
Christmas day Ryan got home and watched the kids for me (yes, all three of them) while I went to the spa! It was my first time and it was ah-mazing!
I had a sitz bath in a jet tub on my own little outdoor patio. They have water with orange and cucumber next the bath which is filled with bubbles and jets :) Then after about 15 minutes my masseuse knocked on the door to let me know she was waiting, then it was down the hall for an hour long full body massage. I could have stayed there forever...seriously. After that I had a facial which left my skin feeling like little Ivy's super soft baby skin. Best present EVER!
Ryan's family came on the 29th for New Years so I was desperatly trying to get the house in order while being chased and in turn chasing the kids around. The day before they came Ivy wouldn't let me put her down and Ezra decided that would be the perfect day to tear everything apart he could get his hands on. And Amelia, who is oddly my good one now, played in straight mud and put it in her hair, but of course didn't come inside until it had dried....oh man. I had to go shopping that evening so when Ryan got home I took Amelia and Ivy and went to the grocery stores. Got tons of stuff, got home, made dinner, put the kids to bed, carried in and put away all the groceries and then attempted to clean out the car cause Amelia had fallen asleep in the car on the way home and pee'd in her seat. Yay..... pee.
Anyway I got to bed at around 3:00am and then woke up at 6:00am with Ryan to make his lunch and send him on his way. It was rough.
I somehow made it through the day, with the help of coffee and plain old stubborn will! I had to run to the store again cause no one had any pillows and we didn't have enough sheets for all the beds. So I grabbed Ezra and went to Target. They didn't end up getting to the house until 12:00am and then it took anther hour to get everyone settled into bed. I was exhausted!
It went fairly well. No fist fights, no break downs=Good visit :)
Entirely off of the holiday talk I am having a mini emotional breakdown over this whole stupid airline ticket deal. I was planning on going to Michigan for a couple days Jan 14-18, by using a flight voucher that I have had for almost a year, and its somehow a huge deal. It was revoked and then reactivated and now they are supposedly sending it to me via snail mail and its taking FOREVER!! I am going to be so upset if I cant be there when my little brother gets out of jail. Plus my parents are getting divorced and I really want to be there for my mom to give her a little break and help her enjoy life for a couple days. I pray it all works out and comes together. Until next time....Be safe!
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Has it really only been a week? It seems like so much more time has passed than that. And firsts things first.
Christmas Eve was fun. We went to my parents house in the evening. It was hard we were missing so many kids this year! Joey working, Rachel in California, Naomi with Jesse and his family and Andrew held up:( It seemed so small. Ryan and I did as much as we could for the kids and my mom, I think they had fun and liked their presents so I was happy. Ryan and I had a good night together preparing. I made the cheesy potato casserole and the green bean casserole and the cookies and cheese cake balls so I would have less to do in the morning.
We woke up at 8 am and lazily laid around till 8:30 when we got up and drank our glass cokes and got our stockings then opened our presents from each other. He got me so much stuff I'm so blessed. Mostly books cuz Im a nerd;) We chilled around and ate cinnamon twists I made till about 11:00 Then got ready and made everything else and I went and got Jakey and got home pretty much just in time to welcome Grandpa and Grandma Wells! Its was a great day, we all ate A LOT of food and opened a lot of presents. Jake was the highlight of everyone's day though. So cute! After everyone was gone for the night Ryan and I relaxed and enjoyed each others company till bedtime.
Monday night Me, Naomi and Katie and Annie, (two of our very best friends from like forever( got together at Katie's house for pizza, movies, champagne, beer pong, oreos and good old talks. Sadly. I think the weeks of drinking was more than my body could handle because I woke up in the middle of the night sick as I ever was. I was awake all night and had to wake the girls up to take me home (two hours away!!) at 8:30 am ruining our breakfast plans. The next two days were as miserable as my sickness has ever been. Spending most of my time in a hot bath or heaving over the bead is not my way to spend 2 days, by the 3rd I couldn't take it and Ryan took me to the emergency room on his way to
work. It took 3 hours for them
to get me into an er room and 3 more hours before they admitted me into the hospital. But finally relief from the pain!! I could breathe again. My hands move at will. I am so sick and tired of this....THING ruining my life. I wish they could figure out what it is. They kept me in the hospital till Friday because my potassium levels were to low. So New Years didn't look like anything special in my point of view. I knew Ryan had to work anyway and with the meds they had me on I was asleep by 9:30 on the 31'st. But Ryan quietly woke me up from beside my bed at one minute till midnight and we watched the ball drop then he kissed me and whispered for me to go back to sleep and that he loved me. It was like a dream. A great dream.
And finally. Today was Ryan's 27'th birthday. I didn't to do nearly as much for him as I'd have liked to do. But I took him to dinner and we got some movies and adding some other things all in all had a wonderful day together. I could probably go on, but my throat is so sore from being sick all I want after all I ate today is a soothing milkshake so I must go prepare one.
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My Christmas was wonderful! Probably one of the best iv ever had. After that, everything pretty much went down hill.
Saying goodbye to the one you love is the hardest thing in the world. Sunday night, December 27th 2009 was one of the best/worst nights of my life. Jesse had to spend the night at a hotel with about 20 other military personnel. We drove to the hotel at around 6pm, thinking I would just drop him off and leave. When we got there and he signed in and everything was starting to settle down he found out that he could have visitors until 11pm! Not in is room, only in the lobby, but of course I stayed the whole time. It was bitter-sweet. We had some of the best conversations we have ever had! But they weren’t always happy and easy ones, and even if they were happy somehow tears were always there, and not just on my part either!!!!
We sat, we walked around, we talked and talked and talked. Saying goodbye that night wasn’t hard at all because I knew I would see him in the morning. But I also knew that it wouldn’t be the same, because it wouldn’t be just the two of us. The next morning I woke up way earlier than I needed too and threw whatever clothes were closest to me on, I skipped the makeup because I knew it would all end up coming off anyways. I came down stairs and sat with jesses dad for about an hour before everyone was ready to go. It was me, his little brother Tj, and his parents. We drove to Lansing to the MEPS center to watch Jesse swear into the Army. That was a really cool thing to do and see and I know that I will never forget it. After that we followed the bus full of new Army men and women to the airport. We had about 2 hours before he had to leave. We all sat around a table drinking coffee and talking casually. I didn’t talk much, my mind was going crazy and Jesse could tell, after a while he suggested that we take a walk, so him and I took a walk around the tiny Lansing airport while he calmed me down and re-assured me that everything was going to be fine.
Saying out final goodbye at the airport was nothing like I imagined, it was fast and I could tell that he didn’t want to cry so he hugged and kissed me and told me he would see me soon and walked away. Of course at the time I was devastated and couldn’t control myself but looking back at it now I realize that it was the best way to do it, rather then making It a big dramatic scene.
That night I knew I needed to get out of the house and away from everyone. I drove to battle creek to meet Leah and Annie and we took off to Detroit to have a girls night at Katie’s house! We ate the best pizza and bread sticks known to man, watched some movies that no one even remembers watching and played some super fun games! The night was full of quotes and laughs…and some tears here and there but over all it was a great night. At the time I was thinking about all the funny things I had to remember to write in my blog, and now I don’t remember ANY of them!! I guess you had to be there.
The whole next week was slow and dramatic and wow I just wanted to run away and live by my self somewhere for a few months! My new years consisted of me, alone, watching deal or no deal on the couch with a box of chocolate and some dr. pepper. It was my own fault, it was actually what I wanted to do, I did not feel like going anywhere or doing anything fun, which sounds bad but it’s the truth.
I went a paid a visit to my Prego friend Casey! That was fun, I hadn’t seen her in months! I cant wait for her to have her little twins, its pretty much the only thing I have to look forward to this whole month.
So at first, because I was so bored I just ate like all the time, it kept me happy and occupied. But I woke up today at well….2pm and it’s the first day that I don’t get to talk to Jesse, and food has never sounded more disgusting in my life. I cant even think about it without wanted to throw up and that’s not good. I don’t know what to do with myself, I am so bored but I don’t want to see anyone or do anything so im pretty much just stuck, sitting here doing nothing all the time. I hate when people talk to me and ask me how im doing! Sure if one of my close friends who actually really cares about how im doing asks me then its fine, but when I get random phone calls and messages from people I hardly know or never talk to asking me how im doing, I kind of want to murder them. Really! I know I cant be like this, I sound SO lame! Im the one that usually makes fun of people who do this kind of stuff and yells at them to get a life. But now that its me in this situation, and I know how they actually feel…I don’t even know what to say. I do the things that I love doing and they don’t even seem fun to me anymore….I went shopping with Leah and I didn’t even want to be there, I just stared into space thinking about how bad I wanted to go home and sleep and I wasn’t even tired! Hopefully this is just a phase and it will all get better in time. No one notices or really knows because I act happy and smile all the time because I don’t want extra attention from anyone because I know it will only make things worse, if that’s even possible.
Christmas day Ryan got home and watched the kids for me (yes, all three of them) while I went to the spa! It was my first time and it was ah-mazing!
I had a sitz bath in a jet tub on my own little outdoor patio. They have water with orange and cucumber next the bath which is filled with bubbles and jets :) Then after about 15 minutes my masseuse knocked on the door to let me know she was waiting, then it was down the hall for an hour long full body massage. I could have stayed there forever...seriously. After that I had a facial which left my skin feeling like little Ivy's super soft baby skin. Best present EVER!
Ryan's family came on the 29th for New Years so I was desperatly trying to get the house in order while being chased and in turn chasing the kids around. The day before they came Ivy wouldn't let me put her down and Ezra decided that would be the perfect day to tear everything apart he could get his hands on. And Amelia, who is oddly my good one now, played in straight mud and put it in her hair, but of course didn't come inside until it had dried....oh man. I had to go shopping that evening so when Ryan got home I took Amelia and Ivy and went to the grocery stores. Got tons of stuff, got home, made dinner, put the kids to bed, carried in and put away all the groceries and then attempted to clean out the car cause Amelia had fallen asleep in the car on the way home and pee'd in her seat. Yay..... pee.
Anyway I got to bed at around 3:00am and then woke up at 6:00am with Ryan to make his lunch and send him on his way. It was rough.
I somehow made it through the day, with the help of coffee and plain old stubborn will! I had to run to the store again cause no one had any pillows and we didn't have enough sheets for all the beds. So I grabbed Ezra and went to Target. They didn't end up getting to the house until 12:00am and then it took anther hour to get everyone settled into bed. I was exhausted!
It went fairly well. No fist fights, no break downs=Good visit :)
Entirely off of the holiday talk I am having a mini emotional breakdown over this whole stupid airline ticket deal. I was planning on going to Michigan for a couple days Jan 14-18, by using a flight voucher that I have had for almost a year, and its somehow a huge deal. It was revoked and then reactivated and now they are supposedly sending it to me via snail mail and its taking FOREVER!! I am going to be so upset if I cant be there when my little brother gets out of jail. Plus my parents are getting divorced and I really want to be there for my mom to give her a little break and help her enjoy life for a couple days. I pray it all works out and comes together. Until next time....Be safe!
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Has it really only been a week? It seems like so much more time has passed than that. And firsts things first.
Christmas Eve was fun. We went to my parents house in the evening. It was hard we were missing so many kids this year! Joey working, Rachel in California, Naomi with Jesse and his family and Andrew held up:( It seemed so small. Ryan and I did as much as we could for the kids and my mom, I think they had fun and liked their presents so I was happy. Ryan and I had a good night together preparing. I made the cheesy potato casserole and the green bean casserole and the cookies and cheese cake balls so I would have less to do in the morning.
We woke up at 8 am and lazily laid around till 8:30 when we got up and drank our glass cokes and got our stockings then opened our presents from each other. He got me so much stuff I'm so blessed. Mostly books cuz Im a nerd;) We chilled around and ate cinnamon twists I made till about 11:00 Then got ready and made everything else and I went and got Jakey and got home pretty much just in time to welcome Grandpa and Grandma Wells! Its was a great day, we all ate A LOT of food and opened a lot of presents. Jake was the highlight of everyone's day though. So cute! After everyone was gone for the night Ryan and I relaxed and enjoyed each others company till bedtime.
Monday night Me, Naomi and Katie and Annie, (two of our very best friends from like forever( got together at Katie's house for pizza, movies, champagne, beer pong, oreos and good old talks. Sadly. I think the weeks of drinking was more than my body could handle because I woke up in the middle of the night sick as I ever was. I was awake all night and had to wake the girls up to take me home (two hours away!!) at 8:30 am ruining our breakfast plans. The next two days were as miserable as my sickness has ever been. Spending most of my time in a hot bath or heaving over the bead is not my way to spend 2 days, by the 3rd I couldn't take it and Ryan took me to the emergency room on his way to
work. It took 3 hours for them
to get me into an er room and 3 more hours before they admitted me into the hospital. But finally relief from the pain!! I could breathe again. My hands move at will. I am so sick and tired of this....THING ruining my life. I wish they could figure out what it is. They kept me in the hospital till Friday because my potassium levels were to low. So New Years didn't look like anything special in my point of view. I knew Ryan had to work anyway and with the meds they had me on I was asleep by 9:30 on the 31'st. But Ryan quietly woke me up from beside my bed at one minute till midnight and we watched the ball drop then he kissed me and whispered for me to go back to sleep and that he loved me. It was like a dream. A great dream.
And finally. Today was Ryan's 27'th birthday. I didn't to do nearly as much for him as I'd have liked to do. But I took him to dinner and we got some movies and adding some other things all in all had a wonderful day together. I could probably go on, but my throat is so sore from being sick all I want after all I ate today is a soothing milkshake so I must go prepare one.
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My Christmas was wonderful! Probably one of the best iv ever had. After that, everything pretty much went down hill.
Saying goodbye to the one you love is the hardest thing in the world. Sunday night, December 27th 2009 was one of the best/worst nights of my life. Jesse had to spend the night at a hotel with about 20 other military personnel. We drove to the hotel at around 6pm, thinking I would just drop him off and leave. When we got there and he signed in and everything was starting to settle down he found out that he could have visitors until 11pm! Not in is room, only in the lobby, but of course I stayed the whole time. It was bitter-sweet. We had some of the best conversations we have ever had! But they weren’t always happy and easy ones, and even if they were happy somehow tears were always there, and not just on my part either!!!!
We sat, we walked around, we talked and talked and talked. Saying goodbye that night wasn’t hard at all because I knew I would see him in the morning. But I also knew that it wouldn’t be the same, because it wouldn’t be just the two of us. The next morning I woke up way earlier than I needed too and threw whatever clothes were closest to me on, I skipped the makeup because I knew it would all end up coming off anyways. I came down stairs and sat with jesses dad for about an hour before everyone was ready to go. It was me, his little brother Tj, and his parents. We drove to Lansing to the MEPS center to watch Jesse swear into the Army. That was a really cool thing to do and see and I know that I will never forget it. After that we followed the bus full of new Army men and women to the airport. We had about 2 hours before he had to leave. We all sat around a table drinking coffee and talking casually. I didn’t talk much, my mind was going crazy and Jesse could tell, after a while he suggested that we take a walk, so him and I took a walk around the tiny Lansing airport while he calmed me down and re-assured me that everything was going to be fine.
Saying out final goodbye at the airport was nothing like I imagined, it was fast and I could tell that he didn’t want to cry so he hugged and kissed me and told me he would see me soon and walked away. Of course at the time I was devastated and couldn’t control myself but looking back at it now I realize that it was the best way to do it, rather then making It a big dramatic scene.
That night I knew I needed to get out of the house and away from everyone. I drove to battle creek to meet Leah and Annie and we took off to Detroit to have a girls night at Katie’s house! We ate the best pizza and bread sticks known to man, watched some movies that no one even remembers watching and played some super fun games! The night was full of quotes and laughs…and some tears here and there but over all it was a great night. At the time I was thinking about all the funny things I had to remember to write in my blog, and now I don’t remember ANY of them!! I guess you had to be there.
The whole next week was slow and dramatic and wow I just wanted to run away and live by my self somewhere for a few months! My new years consisted of me, alone, watching deal or no deal on the couch with a box of chocolate and some dr. pepper. It was my own fault, it was actually what I wanted to do, I did not feel like going anywhere or doing anything fun, which sounds bad but it’s the truth.
I went a paid a visit to my Prego friend Casey! That was fun, I hadn’t seen her in months! I cant wait for her to have her little twins, its pretty much the only thing I have to look forward to this whole month.
So at first, because I was so bored I just ate like all the time, it kept me happy and occupied. But I woke up today at well….2pm and it’s the first day that I don’t get to talk to Jesse, and food has never sounded more disgusting in my life. I cant even think about it without wanted to throw up and that’s not good. I don’t know what to do with myself, I am so bored but I don’t want to see anyone or do anything so im pretty much just stuck, sitting here doing nothing all the time. I hate when people talk to me and ask me how im doing! Sure if one of my close friends who actually really cares about how im doing asks me then its fine, but when I get random phone calls and messages from people I hardly know or never talk to asking me how im doing, I kind of want to murder them. Really! I know I cant be like this, I sound SO lame! Im the one that usually makes fun of people who do this kind of stuff and yells at them to get a life. But now that its me in this situation, and I know how they actually feel…I don’t even know what to say. I do the things that I love doing and they don’t even seem fun to me anymore….I went shopping with Leah and I didn’t even want to be there, I just stared into space thinking about how bad I wanted to go home and sleep and I wasn’t even tired! Hopefully this is just a phase and it will all get better in time. No one notices or really knows because I act happy and smile all the time because I don’t want extra attention from anyone because I know it will only make things worse, if that’s even possible.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Hey Christmas-Holla back!
We got the Swine Flu! Or the H1N1 I guess.... It sucks, but we got a pretty mild case. Amelia and Ezra were both pretty sick, throwing up, fevers, sore throats and coughing. Poor little babies. Ryan and I both have sore throats and slight head colds but none of the rest of the symptoms the little ones got. We all pretty much seem to be on the mend now. It wasn't worse then any other flu Ive ever had though. I did set a new record for how many times in one day I got puked on, it used to be 2, now it is 5. Awesome, go me. Ezra lost his voice for a couple days which was refreshing. Poor little boyly :)
That pretty much took up most of my entire week, but I did manage to sneak out and get some little things for the kids stockings so they can at least have something on Christmas morning.
I also got some biscuit dough so I can fry them and make donuts for them. It should be fun.
Ryan will get home early so we will just have family time and be thankful for what we DO have instead of stressing about what we dont. We have plenty more Christmas's to make up for it.
So this has been a pretty boring week. There are tons of good movies on over the Holidays though. I watched How to lose a guy in 10 days, The Holiday, Mean Girls, and You've Got Mail! Its amazing. Reminds me I need to start collecting dvd's.
I tried to take a christmasy picture of the kids under their stockings but it was a total mess. I dont know how people manage to get their kids pictures done. I remember trying to take Amelia when she was 1 for pictures and she would NOT stand and let them take even one picture! She may let them now, but I doubt Ezra would. I should get some of Ivy though since she hasn't had her pictures taken yet and shes 3 months old already :) hhmmm yeah.
Anyway my stomach is going to eat me alive if I dont feed it something. Boring week=boring blog. Til next week!
Be Safe.
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So last week was my turn to not write. I've had the craziest busiest two weeks in awhile. My little brother Andrew is in jail, at least until January 14. This was unexpected and very unfair. It breaks my heart when I think of my dear baby brother in such a terrible place. I went to see him on visiting day and it was SO hard! He was close to tears the whole time and it was all I could do to keep from bawling. I'm writing him letter's too and the first letter I got from him made me cry so much. I put as much money in his account every week that I can. I wish I could do more- I miss him so much. I remember when he was born we lived in a trailor and the midwife had to open the door and sit on the steps to catch him. So that's how we know were rednecks. Another hard thing that has happened was my mom's surgery. It was so hard to see her in the hospital but I was so happy to repay the favor for all the time's she spent by my hospital bed. The first few days after she got home were really hard too. My dad of course was not much help. She is doing slightly better now but still just lays around mostly. And if you knew my mom you'd know that means she's still in a lot of pain:( I do all I can for her but never feel like it's enough. I am now working two job's and am freaking exhausted! My sleep schedule is so messed up and my body is not used to all this physical labor after being sick for so long. Not to mention having one car 2 people and 3 jobs get's pretty hard sometimes. I dont get as much time with Ryan as I used to and that's sad. I love him more than I ever thought I could. It's amazing how even after three years every kiss still give's me butterflies. How the touch of his hand gives me goose bumps. How His compliments still make me blush. He's so good to me and has taken such good care of me through out my illness. I probably spent way to much on him for Christmas considering how hard up we are. But I want to make up for spending last Christmas in the hospital. I LOVE Christmas and have almost all my shopping done. Ryan and I are going to my families on Christmas eve and then Ryans family and son are coming to our house Christmas day. I am so so so excited. I know this is not very long but I'm busy and tired and hungry so next week it is:)
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Due to facebook status updates, I think that everyone in the world now knows that my mom had surgery . Well yes, she did and she is recovering very well, but while she was down and unable to walk around or sit anywhere I was in charge of....well everything! It was...an experience, an awful awful experience. I woke up at the buttcrack of dawn, got the kids ready for school, made lunch, took them to school, came home for 2 hours then took another kid to school, stayed in town and shopped for 2 hours pretty much everyday then picked them up from school and took them home, made dinner, cleaned house, did laundry and did the same thing the next day!!! ahhhh it was so bad. So now that i had to go through that, i have added many more reasons to my "reasons not to have kids" list.
So other than cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids, last week was pretty uneventful. I still got to see Jesse every night for at least a little bit. I am SO glad he got this extention or else he would be leaving in 2 days!!! ahhh im so happy.
I cant believe its almsot chirstmas, it blows my mind like...alot. its insane how fast time goes by these days. Anyways, I think im getting sick, my throat hurts and I want to throw up everytime I eat...but I keep eating anyways cuz im fat and bored.
Oh yeah im really excited, tomorrow morning I am going to my Best Friend Casey's (the one having twins) ultrasound with her! She is due end of January..I cant believe it! I remember buying her the test and running into the bathroom to see the results...and now they are almost here!!!!! wow...crazy.
mmk well enough for now, HOLLLLA......oh wait Im Naomi,
BYE!
That pretty much took up most of my entire week, but I did manage to sneak out and get some little things for the kids stockings so they can at least have something on Christmas morning.
I also got some biscuit dough so I can fry them and make donuts for them. It should be fun.
Ryan will get home early so we will just have family time and be thankful for what we DO have instead of stressing about what we dont. We have plenty more Christmas's to make up for it.
So this has been a pretty boring week. There are tons of good movies on over the Holidays though. I watched How to lose a guy in 10 days, The Holiday, Mean Girls, and You've Got Mail! Its amazing. Reminds me I need to start collecting dvd's.
I tried to take a christmasy picture of the kids under their stockings but it was a total mess. I dont know how people manage to get their kids pictures done. I remember trying to take Amelia when she was 1 for pictures and she would NOT stand and let them take even one picture! She may let them now, but I doubt Ezra would. I should get some of Ivy though since she hasn't had her pictures taken yet and shes 3 months old already :) hhmmm yeah.
Anyway my stomach is going to eat me alive if I dont feed it something. Boring week=boring blog. Til next week!
Be Safe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So last week was my turn to not write. I've had the craziest busiest two weeks in awhile. My little brother Andrew is in jail, at least until January 14. This was unexpected and very unfair. It breaks my heart when I think of my dear baby brother in such a terrible place. I went to see him on visiting day and it was SO hard! He was close to tears the whole time and it was all I could do to keep from bawling. I'm writing him letter's too and the first letter I got from him made me cry so much. I put as much money in his account every week that I can. I wish I could do more- I miss him so much. I remember when he was born we lived in a trailor and the midwife had to open the door and sit on the steps to catch him. So that's how we know were rednecks. Another hard thing that has happened was my mom's surgery. It was so hard to see her in the hospital but I was so happy to repay the favor for all the time's she spent by my hospital bed. The first few days after she got home were really hard too. My dad of course was not much help. She is doing slightly better now but still just lays around mostly. And if you knew my mom you'd know that means she's still in a lot of pain:( I do all I can for her but never feel like it's enough. I am now working two job's and am freaking exhausted! My sleep schedule is so messed up and my body is not used to all this physical labor after being sick for so long. Not to mention having one car 2 people and 3 jobs get's pretty hard sometimes. I dont get as much time with Ryan as I used to and that's sad. I love him more than I ever thought I could. It's amazing how even after three years every kiss still give's me butterflies. How the touch of his hand gives me goose bumps. How His compliments still make me blush. He's so good to me and has taken such good care of me through out my illness. I probably spent way to much on him for Christmas considering how hard up we are. But I want to make up for spending last Christmas in the hospital. I LOVE Christmas and have almost all my shopping done. Ryan and I are going to my families on Christmas eve and then Ryans family and son are coming to our house Christmas day. I am so so so excited. I know this is not very long but I'm busy and tired and hungry so next week it is:)
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Due to facebook status updates, I think that everyone in the world now knows that my mom had surgery . Well yes, she did and she is recovering very well, but while she was down and unable to walk around or sit anywhere I was in charge of....well everything! It was...an experience, an awful awful experience. I woke up at the buttcrack of dawn, got the kids ready for school, made lunch, took them to school, came home for 2 hours then took another kid to school, stayed in town and shopped for 2 hours pretty much everyday then picked them up from school and took them home, made dinner, cleaned house, did laundry and did the same thing the next day!!! ahhhh it was so bad. So now that i had to go through that, i have added many more reasons to my "reasons not to have kids" list.
So other than cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids, last week was pretty uneventful. I still got to see Jesse every night for at least a little bit. I am SO glad he got this extention or else he would be leaving in 2 days!!! ahhh im so happy.
I cant believe its almsot chirstmas, it blows my mind like...alot. its insane how fast time goes by these days. Anyways, I think im getting sick, my throat hurts and I want to throw up everytime I eat...but I keep eating anyways cuz im fat and bored.
Oh yeah im really excited, tomorrow morning I am going to my Best Friend Casey's (the one having twins) ultrasound with her! She is due end of January..I cant believe it! I remember buying her the test and running into the bathroom to see the results...and now they are almost here!!!!! wow...crazy.
mmk well enough for now, HOLLLLA......oh wait Im Naomi,
BYE!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Oh come all ye faithful
Wow this week has been just nuts.
Everything went from being really normal and nothing new to all of a sudden being crashed into with events. Sadly none of them are very good events.
My mom had surgery, which is a good thing but still a bad thing. She is left at home with no one but Naomi and Leah to take turns caring for her and I feel horrible that it could not have been planned out more so I could come and take part in the daughterly duties. Im sure she will be fine and be up and around again in no time, my mom is a strong women. But because shes a strong women we dont get many chances to take care of her.
Also my little brother is in Jail. I am so broken by this. He made a stupid mistake and now is being punished beyond his crimes as far as Im concerned. I cry for him every time I think about him being in there. I just remember him as this little fat baby drooling all over everyone. I cut his umbilical cord when he was born. It breaks my heart into so many pieces. My poor mother is distraught about this of course, as Im sure I would be too. He will be in there over Christmas, New Years, and our baby brothers 7th birthday. I am planning a trip out there in January and I so hope he will be home safe and sound for my visit.
Speaking of Christmas, I made so much junk food this week! I made chocolate rice krispie treats, puppy chow, sugar cookies, and two kinds of cake balls! Everything is so delicious but by the end of the day I feel so sick I swear Im not going to eat any of it the next day. That lasts long :)
I would love to do more really deep hard core baking but contrary to popular belief, I just dont have the time to be in the kitchen concentrating for that long uninterrupted. Sometimes its like I will be watching the kids and I will turn around and get a cup and turn back around and they have gotten into something. They are just so crazy and fast!
I have had a couple melt downs myself this week but I have been doing so much better it seems. I admit, I stamped my foot today I was so mad. I was instantly reminded of the part in Eclipse when Bella stomps her foot and Jacob says "Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on tv" and I probably would have laughed if my foot didn't hurt so bad. They are just so much those little children. They wear me out and make me so tired...but they're so darn cute I really can only be angry at them for a second no matter what they do.
I went out alot this week. Which is very unusual for me! I went to Target to get christmas decorations on like Tuesday I think, and then the next day Ryan said he didn't like them so I took them back and got different ones.....which we again decided we didn't like so we decided not to decorate the outside of the house this year. To much work. So I took stuff back again! I think I have been in Target almost every day this week for something or other. I really dont mind though, I like getting out of the house, however short the trip may be. It really helps me clear my head and come back with fresh eyes and a new mind. Anyway, thats all from me for now. Til next week-
Be Safe.
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First off, I’m sorry about my absents last week, I was “in the depths of despair”. haha actually that wasn’t the case at all, I was busy, but busy in a good way. I was being loved and spoiled to death by the man of my dreams, shopping trips, dinners, movies, presents, surprises and more! I didn’t want to miss out on a single second of any of it, so I didn’t. I have never felt more important, and cherished by someone than I do now. I cant even begin to describe how happy I am with Jesse. We have so much fun together, it doesn’t matter if we are doing everything or nothing at all, I love it.
I also did a lot of Christmas shopping last week, Thursday with Leah, Saturday with Annie and Monday with Jesse. Good thing I love shopping or I might be sick of it by now, but…IM NOT
This week has definitely been ALL about Jesse, we spend every second possible together. Sometimes I feel like he’s gonna get sick of me and want some time alone, but as soon as I feel myself feeling that way, my phone rings and I hear his cheery voice questioning me “what do you want to do today” or “what should we do today”, I know I sound mushy and annoying, but I just LOVE him so much its amazing.
I am getting a little nervous, almost scared about him leaving. I know that everything will work out fine and we will be together again soon, but I don’t want to lose any of the love I have for him right now, I don’t want to forget the things we have done together or forget how much he means to me. Hopefully him leaving will only make me love him more and want to be with him more. Wow he is all I never talk about, I'm annoying, but I cant help it sometimes……It blows my mind that in just 11 days, he will be gone.
Because Jesse is leaving the day before Christmas, his family is having a little Christmas party for him this Sunday, it should be fun, a little depressing, but of course I have to put on a smile and be as happy as possible. I am trying to get it worked out so I will be able to visit Rachel in California after Christmas, I think it will be good for me, and good for her too. I am a good babysitter and I haven’t seen those children in a long time! The only way I can get Amelia to talk on the phone to me is by pretending I'm “aunty little bear” haha she cracks me up.
Well hmm other than that…its snowing, freezing and I'm hungry. Oh yes and Iv decided to start my own recipe book! (thanks Rachel)
Everything went from being really normal and nothing new to all of a sudden being crashed into with events. Sadly none of them are very good events.
My mom had surgery, which is a good thing but still a bad thing. She is left at home with no one but Naomi and Leah to take turns caring for her and I feel horrible that it could not have been planned out more so I could come and take part in the daughterly duties. Im sure she will be fine and be up and around again in no time, my mom is a strong women. But because shes a strong women we dont get many chances to take care of her.
Also my little brother is in Jail. I am so broken by this. He made a stupid mistake and now is being punished beyond his crimes as far as Im concerned. I cry for him every time I think about him being in there. I just remember him as this little fat baby drooling all over everyone. I cut his umbilical cord when he was born. It breaks my heart into so many pieces. My poor mother is distraught about this of course, as Im sure I would be too. He will be in there over Christmas, New Years, and our baby brothers 7th birthday. I am planning a trip out there in January and I so hope he will be home safe and sound for my visit.
Speaking of Christmas, I made so much junk food this week! I made chocolate rice krispie treats, puppy chow, sugar cookies, and two kinds of cake balls! Everything is so delicious but by the end of the day I feel so sick I swear Im not going to eat any of it the next day. That lasts long :)
I would love to do more really deep hard core baking but contrary to popular belief, I just dont have the time to be in the kitchen concentrating for that long uninterrupted. Sometimes its like I will be watching the kids and I will turn around and get a cup and turn back around and they have gotten into something. They are just so crazy and fast!
I have had a couple melt downs myself this week but I have been doing so much better it seems. I admit, I stamped my foot today I was so mad. I was instantly reminded of the part in Eclipse when Bella stomps her foot and Jacob says "Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on tv" and I probably would have laughed if my foot didn't hurt so bad. They are just so much those little children. They wear me out and make me so tired...but they're so darn cute I really can only be angry at them for a second no matter what they do.
I went out alot this week. Which is very unusual for me! I went to Target to get christmas decorations on like Tuesday I think, and then the next day Ryan said he didn't like them so I took them back and got different ones.....which we again decided we didn't like so we decided not to decorate the outside of the house this year. To much work. So I took stuff back again! I think I have been in Target almost every day this week for something or other. I really dont mind though, I like getting out of the house, however short the trip may be. It really helps me clear my head and come back with fresh eyes and a new mind. Anyway, thats all from me for now. Til next week-
Be Safe.
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First off, I’m sorry about my absents last week, I was “in the depths of despair”. haha actually that wasn’t the case at all, I was busy, but busy in a good way. I was being loved and spoiled to death by the man of my dreams, shopping trips, dinners, movies, presents, surprises and more! I didn’t want to miss out on a single second of any of it, so I didn’t. I have never felt more important, and cherished by someone than I do now. I cant even begin to describe how happy I am with Jesse. We have so much fun together, it doesn’t matter if we are doing everything or nothing at all, I love it.
I also did a lot of Christmas shopping last week, Thursday with Leah, Saturday with Annie and Monday with Jesse. Good thing I love shopping or I might be sick of it by now, but…IM NOT
This week has definitely been ALL about Jesse, we spend every second possible together. Sometimes I feel like he’s gonna get sick of me and want some time alone, but as soon as I feel myself feeling that way, my phone rings and I hear his cheery voice questioning me “what do you want to do today” or “what should we do today”, I know I sound mushy and annoying, but I just LOVE him so much its amazing.
I am getting a little nervous, almost scared about him leaving. I know that everything will work out fine and we will be together again soon, but I don’t want to lose any of the love I have for him right now, I don’t want to forget the things we have done together or forget how much he means to me. Hopefully him leaving will only make me love him more and want to be with him more. Wow he is all I never talk about, I'm annoying, but I cant help it sometimes……It blows my mind that in just 11 days, he will be gone.
Because Jesse is leaving the day before Christmas, his family is having a little Christmas party for him this Sunday, it should be fun, a little depressing, but of course I have to put on a smile and be as happy as possible. I am trying to get it worked out so I will be able to visit Rachel in California after Christmas, I think it will be good for me, and good for her too. I am a good babysitter and I haven’t seen those children in a long time! The only way I can get Amelia to talk on the phone to me is by pretending I'm “aunty little bear” haha she cracks me up.
Well hmm other than that…its snowing, freezing and I'm hungry. Oh yes and Iv decided to start my own recipe book! (thanks Rachel)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Ghost of Christmas's past
The Holidays can be one of two things, the most exciting fun and love filled times, or the saddest most depressing lonely times. Somehow, Im caught in the middle. I love my children and my husband to much to be really sad or depressed. But the fact that we wont be celebrating Christmas like every other normal family in the world breaks my heart. I know my kids might not remember it, but I will. Everyone says that about things like this. Isn't it my job to create these moments for them to make memorys of? If there aren't any special or magic moments of course they wont remember it. I hate that both of our familys are so far from us. I hate that my kids cant have fun traditions that they do at each of their grandparents house. But I am determined to make Christmas special somehow. Ryan works Christmas day so that makes it hard, I dont want to leave him out. I feel like I haven't had a Christmas in 5+years and Im sick of it. I want to be filled with that happy excitment. I want to feel Christmas like a child!
This whole week has been trying its hardest to get me down, but surprisingly I have been in an extremely good mood. And as dumb as this may sound to some, Facebook is a huge factor. I love being able to see what my family is up to all the time. And I love being able to talk to friends I haven't seen in years without having to make awkward phone calls. It somehow contents that part of me that was missing, social and personal interraction with people over the age of 2 1/2! Amazingly, when Im in a better mood, Ryan is in a better mood. :)
We finally bought a dining table which I am ecstatic about, I never want to eat at a tv tray again. We have been using them since we first got married and they're the biggest annoyance.
It feels so good buying things for our house! I want to start painting so bad but I know I would end up getting frustrated having to stop in the middle all the time.
Anyway, it was finally cold enough for me to have an excuse to make soup! I was so excited cause I adore soup and stew and chowder, so I bought some sour dough bread rounds and we had potatoe soup in bread bowls and honey mustard chicken. It was fantastic if I do say so myself. Did it matter that it was only 69 degrees? No...anything under 70 is undeniable soup weather. Well I suppose Im done rambling on about everything except for my week :) But those are the things that I want to get out. So, my kids are adorable, and usually dirty. But I love them and enjoy every day I get with them. They do drive me nuts, but I would rather be crazy with them then sane without them. I love Ryan, hes a better man then I ever deserved and a awesome daddy to our babys. I am so richly blessed and I dont want anyone to think I ever take that for granted. I guess I feel like I have been complaining alot lately, but everyone has ups and downs, and right now Im up!
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Mostly I spent this week in bed. Sad I know. My mood seems to switch every week. And when I'm feeling depressed it's hard to get out of bed in the morning. Hard not to fall asleep sitting on the couch. Hard to have any desire to clean my house. To do anything. For some reason I am feeling very insecure about myself these days. I'm told all around I shouldn't I honestly don't feel like I should be either. I'm thinner than Ive ever been. My hair is longer than its ever been. My skin is finally clear. But I find myself obsessing over every wrong thing about myself I can find. Don't worry I wont go into detail. But I'm tired of it taking me an hour to try on everything I own because I don't think I look good in anything. Its on my mind so much of the time. I know its wrong to obsess over how I look so much. I just want to feel good about myself. Ryan sure seems happy with me if you know what I mean but sometimes its hard for me to be comfortable even with him I'm so self concious. I worked a couple nights this week. I hate that bar with all my heart and love my job like no other. Its not really a job. Just a place I go to serve drinks and get paid. Always dramatic. Always disgusting. Definitely never thought I'd see a grown man drunk enough to crap his pants. The thing I hate the most is the pregnant women smoking. Why are they blessed with a child they choose to harm?! It seems like Ryan was at work ALL day every day this week. Usually he gets a 3 hour break and having hime gone so much made me so depressed! I cannot be alone that often and be okay. I think to much and focus on the bad. I wish so much I could control my emotions better. Alot happened with my family this week. My wonderful brother Daniel pretty much got jumped by 5 other guys and they did him pretty good. He fought like a man and ended up getting his collarbone broke. That hurts me so much! I have had mine broke and just wish I could do something to help him. A close friend of the family's, who was very young took his own life this week. Leading one of my other younger brothers to rash actions that landed him in jail. It was scary and stressful for everyone, my mother especially. The highlights of my week were Friday, when Naomi and I went Christmas shopping and I mostly bought her things. We ate delicious chinese food and had a great time till Kmart denied my sears credit card. Boo Kmart. But it was fun. And Sunday I got to relax and spend the whole day with Ryan. It was wonderful. So ends my week.
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Naomi didn't blog this week cause she is in the depths of despair.
This whole week has been trying its hardest to get me down, but surprisingly I have been in an extremely good mood. And as dumb as this may sound to some, Facebook is a huge factor. I love being able to see what my family is up to all the time. And I love being able to talk to friends I haven't seen in years without having to make awkward phone calls. It somehow contents that part of me that was missing, social and personal interraction with people over the age of 2 1/2! Amazingly, when Im in a better mood, Ryan is in a better mood. :)
We finally bought a dining table which I am ecstatic about, I never want to eat at a tv tray again. We have been using them since we first got married and they're the biggest annoyance.
It feels so good buying things for our house! I want to start painting so bad but I know I would end up getting frustrated having to stop in the middle all the time.
Anyway, it was finally cold enough for me to have an excuse to make soup! I was so excited cause I adore soup and stew and chowder, so I bought some sour dough bread rounds and we had potatoe soup in bread bowls and honey mustard chicken. It was fantastic if I do say so myself. Did it matter that it was only 69 degrees? No...anything under 70 is undeniable soup weather. Well I suppose Im done rambling on about everything except for my week :) But those are the things that I want to get out. So, my kids are adorable, and usually dirty. But I love them and enjoy every day I get with them. They do drive me nuts, but I would rather be crazy with them then sane without them. I love Ryan, hes a better man then I ever deserved and a awesome daddy to our babys. I am so richly blessed and I dont want anyone to think I ever take that for granted. I guess I feel like I have been complaining alot lately, but everyone has ups and downs, and right now Im up!
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Mostly I spent this week in bed. Sad I know. My mood seems to switch every week. And when I'm feeling depressed it's hard to get out of bed in the morning. Hard not to fall asleep sitting on the couch. Hard to have any desire to clean my house. To do anything. For some reason I am feeling very insecure about myself these days. I'm told all around I shouldn't I honestly don't feel like I should be either. I'm thinner than Ive ever been. My hair is longer than its ever been. My skin is finally clear. But I find myself obsessing over every wrong thing about myself I can find. Don't worry I wont go into detail. But I'm tired of it taking me an hour to try on everything I own because I don't think I look good in anything. Its on my mind so much of the time. I know its wrong to obsess over how I look so much. I just want to feel good about myself. Ryan sure seems happy with me if you know what I mean but sometimes its hard for me to be comfortable even with him I'm so self concious. I worked a couple nights this week. I hate that bar with all my heart and love my job like no other. Its not really a job. Just a place I go to serve drinks and get paid. Always dramatic. Always disgusting. Definitely never thought I'd see a grown man drunk enough to crap his pants. The thing I hate the most is the pregnant women smoking. Why are they blessed with a child they choose to harm?! It seems like Ryan was at work ALL day every day this week. Usually he gets a 3 hour break and having hime gone so much made me so depressed! I cannot be alone that often and be okay. I think to much and focus on the bad. I wish so much I could control my emotions better. Alot happened with my family this week. My wonderful brother Daniel pretty much got jumped by 5 other guys and they did him pretty good. He fought like a man and ended up getting his collarbone broke. That hurts me so much! I have had mine broke and just wish I could do something to help him. A close friend of the family's, who was very young took his own life this week. Leading one of my other younger brothers to rash actions that landed him in jail. It was scary and stressful for everyone, my mother especially. The highlights of my week were Friday, when Naomi and I went Christmas shopping and I mostly bought her things. We ate delicious chinese food and had a great time till Kmart denied my sears credit card. Boo Kmart. But it was fun. And Sunday I got to relax and spend the whole day with Ryan. It was wonderful. So ends my week.
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Naomi didn't blog this week cause she is in the depths of despair.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Thanksgiving
I am finally getting around to LAST weeks blog. We spent all week up north visiting Ryan's family so its not like I don't have a good excuse. But still...geesh.
So..
The Holiday went pretty well. Its not really a huge change for me cause I still just sit in the house with the baby while everyone else goes and plays or whatever. But at least I'm not alone. Ezra was so clingy the whole time and if neither Ryan or I was holding him he was screaming and crying. So that was fun.
Ivy was incredibly good and cried maybe one time the entire week. And Amelia of course had a blast with everyone. It was nice to be in cold weather for a little while, but man when we started driving home and hit that 70 degree mark it was awesome. I love where we live!
Anyway, back to the Holiday. So Thanksgiving is always kinda hard for me cause its my favorite holiday and I hate not seeing my family. I wish I could be there to help my mom cook, since I know the other two girls aren't really reliable in that department. I actually don't know if Leah can cook, but I do know shes really good at dropping things and misreading recipes. Not a good combination. I'm hoping maybe next year we can spend Thanksgiving in Michigan. We'll see I suppose. So I really didn't eat to much, I hate stuffing myself so I somehow learned to eat just enough and it feels so good! Then we had a boggle match, of which I won. Of course. All my practice of playing it by myself must have paid off. Then everyone just kinda sat around and talked. The next day my sister in law, Carli, informed me she had never had a S'more!! I was so appalled that we drove to the store and bought S'more stuff. It was my one and only trip out of the house all vacation. While we were out Ryan called and told me to buy ping pong balls. So after walking up and down all the isle's we finally asked a kid who worked there. He led the way handed us the balls and then proclaimed "Beer Pong is ON!!" we just kinda looked at him like he was an idiot, then turned and walked away. So we went home and made S'mores in the fireplace and it was amazing. I haven't had a s'more in so long.
Saturday we had to go pick up the rental car from the Sacramento Airport and to kill time we walked around the Woodland Mall which is an outdoor mall. I love outdoor malls. I bought two pairs of jeans so I could stop washing the one pair that fit me everyday. I was so happy when I got on the scale after we got home and saw I didn't gain any weight on vacation. I really think this no soda thing is a huge factor.
One exciting thing is in the works. Both Ryan and I have tickets that expire in February, but we don't have the time or the money to take a trip anywhere...soooo I might be going to Michigan with just my baby Ivy for a little trip. I want to so bad but at the same time I really really miss my kids when there gone for more then an hour or two. I would worry about Ryan too. But I'm still excited and I think they would have fun without me, even though Ryan insists it would be terrible. Were still trying to figure it all out so no promises yet. Anyway, I suppose that's all I have for last week. It was pretty long and boring, and as happy as I am that we went and got to see everyone, I'm happy to be home.
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Well my week started off a little bad. I'm having a really hard time with the loss of my kittens:( And some stupid girl tried to lay claim to my man. Don't worry that will get taken care of.I got to babysit for my friend Kat again. Her baby boy is bringing new joy to my life every week. And of course this week was Thanksgiving! Ryan went to my parents house and it was wonderful spending time with my siblings and dear Mother. My Dad even got out of bed for awhile! The food was of course wonderful and I ate as much as I could and brought my own Tupperware so I wouldn't have to cook for Ry the next day. Speaking of the next day. Only one of the best days of the year. I did not go to bed Thursday night but stayed up with my baby till about 3am when I left to stand in line at Kohl's for their huge sale. Of course Michigan decided to hold the snow off this year until I had to stand out in it freezing my ass off. But it was worth it. I am so so excited about Christmas this year. I got quite allot of my Christmas shopping done and am very happy the results. I do wish I had more sisters. Its so much more fun shopping for girls... But anyways, I got home from my shopping expedition at around 9 and then slept till 3pm to make up for it. Then I got to wake up and spend some good quality time with my Man. And I know I'm a week behind the times but I finally got to see New Moon! My friends Heather and Katrena came and took me out and it was one of the best movies ever. But the long girl talk we all had in my living room after we got home was almost better. I don't get enough girl time and that's a fact. I'm gonna work on that in the future. I loved the time I got to spend with those dear women but it made me realize all the more how badly I want a family of my own. Hearing them talk about their children gave me a longing ache inside. It didn't hurt as bad as it used to. But Oh I want a baby. I will be so much happier when the Mother inside of me is allowed to come out! Jake calls me "Mama Leela" and hearing mama in any form warms my heart. But I know he just calls me that because Ryan calls me Mama. Jake and are more of good buddies:) Which is fine, I just cant wait to have his little brother or sister. Buying Jake presents was lots of fun knowing I'm going to be playing with them as much as he is. I just wish I could get more for people. I'd love to buy Jake's mother something nice. And my Grandparent's for the times they have me out financially in the past two years. I got my own Mother nice things though! Oh I cant wait for Christmas. I'm decorating the house tomorrow and I smile just thinking about it. I'm finally getting help from the state but its not enough to talk about. Shh, I'm working part time under the table at a bar. Not my favorite place but sometimes I have fun and its nice to get out and really nice to pay bills. I have been in such a spectacular mood the last few days and I'm not sure what I owe to but sure am thankful. Maybe these damn medications have finally worked together to make me well. I cant believe I haven't been to the hospital in 2 1/2 months. Its a new record! I know my life isn't as interesting when its less dramatic but oh does it feel good to be happy. I am thankful. Thankful for God my heavenly father. For my parents, For my siblings, Joey, Rachel, Daniel, Naomi, Andrew, Seth, Levi, Mark, Esther, and Micah. For Ryan who is the best thing that ever happened to me. For Ryan's family who accepted me as one of their own without a second thought. For my wonderful house. Great friends. And pain in the ass Cats, Chronic, Raina, Douja, and Pookie:) Thank you Lord for what you have given me.
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Oh Holiday breaks, I adore you! I had two days of school this week, Monday went by quickly before I even realized it was Tuesday and my last day for the week. After school on Tuesday I got all “dressed up” and went out for some quality bonding time with Steve, Jesses dad. He took me hunting! For the very first time ever…I never really had the desire to go but he kept talking about it and it caught my interest and I figured my life is pretty boring so why not try something new. We went out for about 2 ½ hours and we sat there...and sat there…and yeah finally decided to call it a night. We didn’t see anything…not even a bird or a bug…it was silent and still in the cold, windy woods.
Wednesday I cleaned the house, then went home and helped my mom get motivated to clean her house…it didn’t work so well we were both so blah we didn’t feel like doing anything,
Thursday was Thanksgiving of course. At around 1 or 1:30 Jesse and I headed over to my moms house for thanksgiving with my family. We stayed about 2 1/2 hours, enough time to eat a little bit, talk a while and say our goodbyes. Next we headed over to his family’s for thanksgiving….there was…A TON of people. The house isn’t very big so it was quite the adventure. We brought dusty ( the kitten) and Jesses mom kept referring to him as her grand baby haha It made everyone laugh. It was a really fun day, we ate a lot and got to spend time with some really nice people. The worst part, when we went to see New Moon, we made a little deal. He told me that if he took me to see it, then I have to go see this movie Ninja Assassin with him. I agreed, thinking he would forget or I would get out of it somehow…but I didn’t. and it was the worst movie I have ever seen……truly. But oh well, a deal is a deal.
Friday we went out for some shooting practice before hunting again Friday afternoon. Again, we sat there for a few hours and saw nothing. Jesse came with us this time so it kind of made things a little more interesting. I got so cold super fast, so we headed back to the car early. I felt bad, but when I cant feel my toes or nose I don’t really care anymore.
Well Saturday…hmmm Oh yes, we “took that day”. haha it’s a new saying that Jesse is in love with. It means to just lay around ALL day and do nothing. And we did it very well. It was actually a lot of fun :) at around 6 we decided we better get up for at least a few hours. We went down the road and visited some of Jesses close friends. We were only there for maybe two hours, then back home to watch a movie and call it a night.
Sunday is church of course :) I love going to church but hate it at the same time. It always makes me so emotional. All these people coming up to him asking him about his training and all that stuff. Then giving me these awful looks of sympathy and telling me they better still see me around while he’s gone. They used to ask me if I was going with him, but that ended after about four weeks and a lot of aggravation. Now all I get is “aww you poor thing“, and “oh honey I’m sorry“….yeah well really, I would rather just ignore it and not have people talk to me and sympathize for me. So after church I pretty much fell apart. I could not control myself no matter how hard I tried. I hate crying around Jesse. It makes me feel weak or something, like I cant handle what’s about to happen. But I can handle it, I know I can. He didn’t mind though, he just held me and let me cry, tried to feed me chocolate and turned on all my favorite shows. I would stop every now and then for a while and be totally fine, then he would say or do something and send me straight back into my overwhelming emotional state. I love him so much, his words of comfort for me were “oh don’t worry, its just part of your cycle” haha that one made me laugh, he also said I was having an “off” day because it was cold and rainy outside, which is partly true. Well that’s pretty much it for the most part. Everything went really well this week. I had a lot of fun, and a lot of re-assurance that everything is gong to be fine.
So..
The Holiday went pretty well. Its not really a huge change for me cause I still just sit in the house with the baby while everyone else goes and plays or whatever. But at least I'm not alone. Ezra was so clingy the whole time and if neither Ryan or I was holding him he was screaming and crying. So that was fun.
Ivy was incredibly good and cried maybe one time the entire week. And Amelia of course had a blast with everyone. It was nice to be in cold weather for a little while, but man when we started driving home and hit that 70 degree mark it was awesome. I love where we live!
Anyway, back to the Holiday. So Thanksgiving is always kinda hard for me cause its my favorite holiday and I hate not seeing my family. I wish I could be there to help my mom cook, since I know the other two girls aren't really reliable in that department. I actually don't know if Leah can cook, but I do know shes really good at dropping things and misreading recipes. Not a good combination. I'm hoping maybe next year we can spend Thanksgiving in Michigan. We'll see I suppose. So I really didn't eat to much, I hate stuffing myself so I somehow learned to eat just enough and it feels so good! Then we had a boggle match, of which I won. Of course. All my practice of playing it by myself must have paid off. Then everyone just kinda sat around and talked. The next day my sister in law, Carli, informed me she had never had a S'more!! I was so appalled that we drove to the store and bought S'more stuff. It was my one and only trip out of the house all vacation. While we were out Ryan called and told me to buy ping pong balls. So after walking up and down all the isle's we finally asked a kid who worked there. He led the way handed us the balls and then proclaimed "Beer Pong is ON!!" we just kinda looked at him like he was an idiot, then turned and walked away. So we went home and made S'mores in the fireplace and it was amazing. I haven't had a s'more in so long.
Saturday we had to go pick up the rental car from the Sacramento Airport and to kill time we walked around the Woodland Mall which is an outdoor mall. I love outdoor malls. I bought two pairs of jeans so I could stop washing the one pair that fit me everyday. I was so happy when I got on the scale after we got home and saw I didn't gain any weight on vacation. I really think this no soda thing is a huge factor.
One exciting thing is in the works. Both Ryan and I have tickets that expire in February, but we don't have the time or the money to take a trip anywhere...soooo I might be going to Michigan with just my baby Ivy for a little trip. I want to so bad but at the same time I really really miss my kids when there gone for more then an hour or two. I would worry about Ryan too. But I'm still excited and I think they would have fun without me, even though Ryan insists it would be terrible. Were still trying to figure it all out so no promises yet. Anyway, I suppose that's all I have for last week. It was pretty long and boring, and as happy as I am that we went and got to see everyone, I'm happy to be home.
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Well my week started off a little bad. I'm having a really hard time with the loss of my kittens:( And some stupid girl tried to lay claim to my man. Don't worry that will get taken care of.I got to babysit for my friend Kat again. Her baby boy is bringing new joy to my life every week. And of course this week was Thanksgiving! Ryan went to my parents house and it was wonderful spending time with my siblings and dear Mother. My Dad even got out of bed for awhile! The food was of course wonderful and I ate as much as I could and brought my own Tupperware so I wouldn't have to cook for Ry the next day. Speaking of the next day. Only one of the best days of the year. I did not go to bed Thursday night but stayed up with my baby till about 3am when I left to stand in line at Kohl's for their huge sale. Of course Michigan decided to hold the snow off this year until I had to stand out in it freezing my ass off. But it was worth it. I am so so excited about Christmas this year. I got quite allot of my Christmas shopping done and am very happy the results. I do wish I had more sisters. Its so much more fun shopping for girls... But anyways, I got home from my shopping expedition at around 9 and then slept till 3pm to make up for it. Then I got to wake up and spend some good quality time with my Man. And I know I'm a week behind the times but I finally got to see New Moon! My friends Heather and Katrena came and took me out and it was one of the best movies ever. But the long girl talk we all had in my living room after we got home was almost better. I don't get enough girl time and that's a fact. I'm gonna work on that in the future. I loved the time I got to spend with those dear women but it made me realize all the more how badly I want a family of my own. Hearing them talk about their children gave me a longing ache inside. It didn't hurt as bad as it used to. But Oh I want a baby. I will be so much happier when the Mother inside of me is allowed to come out! Jake calls me "Mama Leela" and hearing mama in any form warms my heart. But I know he just calls me that because Ryan calls me Mama. Jake and are more of good buddies:) Which is fine, I just cant wait to have his little brother or sister. Buying Jake presents was lots of fun knowing I'm going to be playing with them as much as he is. I just wish I could get more for people. I'd love to buy Jake's mother something nice. And my Grandparent's for the times they have me out financially in the past two years. I got my own Mother nice things though! Oh I cant wait for Christmas. I'm decorating the house tomorrow and I smile just thinking about it. I'm finally getting help from the state but its not enough to talk about. Shh, I'm working part time under the table at a bar. Not my favorite place but sometimes I have fun and its nice to get out and really nice to pay bills. I have been in such a spectacular mood the last few days and I'm not sure what I owe to but sure am thankful. Maybe these damn medications have finally worked together to make me well. I cant believe I haven't been to the hospital in 2 1/2 months. Its a new record! I know my life isn't as interesting when its less dramatic but oh does it feel good to be happy. I am thankful. Thankful for God my heavenly father. For my parents, For my siblings, Joey, Rachel, Daniel, Naomi, Andrew, Seth, Levi, Mark, Esther, and Micah. For Ryan who is the best thing that ever happened to me. For Ryan's family who accepted me as one of their own without a second thought. For my wonderful house. Great friends. And pain in the ass Cats, Chronic, Raina, Douja, and Pookie:) Thank you Lord for what you have given me.
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Oh Holiday breaks, I adore you! I had two days of school this week, Monday went by quickly before I even realized it was Tuesday and my last day for the week. After school on Tuesday I got all “dressed up” and went out for some quality bonding time with Steve, Jesses dad. He took me hunting! For the very first time ever…I never really had the desire to go but he kept talking about it and it caught my interest and I figured my life is pretty boring so why not try something new. We went out for about 2 ½ hours and we sat there...and sat there…and yeah finally decided to call it a night. We didn’t see anything…not even a bird or a bug…it was silent and still in the cold, windy woods.
Wednesday I cleaned the house, then went home and helped my mom get motivated to clean her house…it didn’t work so well we were both so blah we didn’t feel like doing anything,
Thursday was Thanksgiving of course. At around 1 or 1:30 Jesse and I headed over to my moms house for thanksgiving with my family. We stayed about 2 1/2 hours, enough time to eat a little bit, talk a while and say our goodbyes. Next we headed over to his family’s for thanksgiving….there was…A TON of people. The house isn’t very big so it was quite the adventure. We brought dusty ( the kitten) and Jesses mom kept referring to him as her grand baby haha It made everyone laugh. It was a really fun day, we ate a lot and got to spend time with some really nice people. The worst part, when we went to see New Moon, we made a little deal. He told me that if he took me to see it, then I have to go see this movie Ninja Assassin with him. I agreed, thinking he would forget or I would get out of it somehow…but I didn’t. and it was the worst movie I have ever seen……truly. But oh well, a deal is a deal.
Friday we went out for some shooting practice before hunting again Friday afternoon. Again, we sat there for a few hours and saw nothing. Jesse came with us this time so it kind of made things a little more interesting. I got so cold super fast, so we headed back to the car early. I felt bad, but when I cant feel my toes or nose I don’t really care anymore.
Well Saturday…hmmm Oh yes, we “took that day”. haha it’s a new saying that Jesse is in love with. It means to just lay around ALL day and do nothing. And we did it very well. It was actually a lot of fun :) at around 6 we decided we better get up for at least a few hours. We went down the road and visited some of Jesses close friends. We were only there for maybe two hours, then back home to watch a movie and call it a night.
Sunday is church of course :) I love going to church but hate it at the same time. It always makes me so emotional. All these people coming up to him asking him about his training and all that stuff. Then giving me these awful looks of sympathy and telling me they better still see me around while he’s gone. They used to ask me if I was going with him, but that ended after about four weeks and a lot of aggravation. Now all I get is “aww you poor thing“, and “oh honey I’m sorry“….yeah well really, I would rather just ignore it and not have people talk to me and sympathize for me. So after church I pretty much fell apart. I could not control myself no matter how hard I tried. I hate crying around Jesse. It makes me feel weak or something, like I cant handle what’s about to happen. But I can handle it, I know I can. He didn’t mind though, he just held me and let me cry, tried to feed me chocolate and turned on all my favorite shows. I would stop every now and then for a while and be totally fine, then he would say or do something and send me straight back into my overwhelming emotional state. I love him so much, his words of comfort for me were “oh don’t worry, its just part of your cycle” haha that one made me laugh, he also said I was having an “off” day because it was cold and rainy outside, which is partly true. Well that’s pretty much it for the most part. Everything went really well this week. I had a lot of fun, and a lot of re-assurance that everything is gong to be fine.
Monday, November 23, 2009
New Moon and the Holidays begin
For as quickly as last week was, this week made up for by dragging at snail pace. It was eventful in its own way. No real catastrophes but still enough action to leave me exhausted by the end of the day. And so it goes with toddlers in your house. I had some enlightening moments though, which were very overdue! I really love this time of year and I want my kids to love it too. I cant wait to start baking and shopping and decorating. I have really been trying to be more patient with the kids and trying to not stress out about anything unworthy of my stress. It seems to be working out ok. Ivy is in full smiling cooing mode now so that helps me feel a little better. You just feel so unloved when your baby only cries for you and then eats and go back to sleep. A little smile in between there is a great pick me up. I got to go see my first movie in years on Friday. The Twilight Saga's "New Moon" It was AMAAAAAAZZING! I absolutely loved every second of it. Its the first time ever a movie was made from a fantastic book without totally sucking and leaving important things out. Wow I want to see it again.
We had a trip planned to drive up to see Ryan's family for thanksgiving week. I had reserved a rental car about a week and a half earlier and later Friday night we went to pick it up only to find that Ryan's card had expired like a week ago. And they couldn't let us rent it without a major credit card. So that was fun. We had to scramble around at like 9pm and try and find someone who would let us use their card, and they had to be present at the time of the renting procedure. Well we did find someone but by the time we got the car it was like 11:00pm so I was trying to get everything put in the car and transfer car seats and take a shower and all that stuff. Kids come with so much luggage! Ezra has been teething all weekend so he kept waking up screaming and I had to lay with him off and on all day and night, poor little boy is getting four molars! He has a fever and wont eat anything he has to bite. So the drive was awesome to say the least. He cried like the entire time. Its so cold here! My poor desert babies are not used to this extreme weather. I mean really its like 50 degrees but we not used to seeing anything below 65! They have a huge german shepherd dog who Amelia just loves. She was outside with him earlier and I was spying on her talking to him, she was sitting there petting his nose saying "better not eat me Max, better not"
I know it lame but thats about it for this week. Alot happened in between the lines but unless anything more comes of it I am going to leave it unsaid. Until next week!
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We had a trip planned to drive up to see Ryan's family for thanksgiving week. I had reserved a rental car about a week and a half earlier and later Friday night we went to pick it up only to find that Ryan's card had expired like a week ago. And they couldn't let us rent it without a major credit card. So that was fun. We had to scramble around at like 9pm and try and find someone who would let us use their card, and they had to be present at the time of the renting procedure. Well we did find someone but by the time we got the car it was like 11:00pm so I was trying to get everything put in the car and transfer car seats and take a shower and all that stuff. Kids come with so much luggage! Ezra has been teething all weekend so he kept waking up screaming and I had to lay with him off and on all day and night, poor little boy is getting four molars! He has a fever and wont eat anything he has to bite. So the drive was awesome to say the least. He cried like the entire time. Its so cold here! My poor desert babies are not used to this extreme weather. I mean really its like 50 degrees but we not used to seeing anything below 65! They have a huge german shepherd dog who Amelia just loves. She was outside with him earlier and I was spying on her talking to him, she was sitting there petting his nose saying "better not eat me Max, better not"
I know it lame but thats about it for this week. Alot happened in between the lines but unless anything more comes of it I am going to leave it unsaid. Until next week!
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I dont know that I even want to talk to much about this week. I lost all three of my kittens. One by one no matter what I did for them they died off. I am so so upset about this its got me crying all the time. I wont even go into detail about what happened. But it was terrible.
Lets focus on good things. I FiNaLlY got my food stamp and disability money. Its not much. But its enough to help us out right now. Im babysitting for a few good friends and am able to do a few side jobs. So things are finally looking up financially. I never thought paying bills would feel so good. With lots of food in the house again Im trying to gain my weight back. Yesterday I ate a bowl of cereal, 2 yoplait whip yogurts, a ham sandwhich and chips, 2 toaster strudels, half of a calzone and a bowl of ice cream. Wasn't a very productive day but I got alot of reading done:)
I have decided that this Christmas WILL BE wonderful! I am taking my department store credit cards and buying the people I love presents and am not even going to worry about how long it takes me to pay it off. I cant wait till Thanksgiving, partly because were going to my parent this year and I am so so excited and hungry just thing about it. And partly because I get to decorate the house for Christmas the day after! I'm getting a real tree and can smell it all ready. I have alot of good Christmas memories and some bad. But I do always remember Rachel being the one who picked out our tree every year. And it was always beautiful.
I've been a total klutz this week. I spill and drop everything and I fell down our stairs for the first time. It reminds me of how bad I was when I was younger. I got my first bloody nose by opening the refrigerator door. And speaking of doors I managed to get my tongue closed in one once. Or the time I was clothes lined while running my pony. Stepping off the side of the stairs and getting a concussion. Having a horse fall on me and getting staples in my head as the result. I think those are all the favorites but trust me there's more. Just yesterday I sliced my finger wide open cutting lemons....
I guess my life is pretty boring right now. Maybe next week I'll be more insightful.
I guess my life is pretty boring right now. Maybe next week I'll be more insightful.
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Iv been having so much fun lately. It doesn’t even matter what I’m doing, I’m in a constant good mood and I enjoy pretty much anything I do. Except school of course, but its almost over….one more week! I have this next week off for thanksgiving break, then I go back and take exams and then its over….wow.
My weeks never have anything interesting to talk about so I usually skip them and talk all about my wonderful weekendsJ
I didn’t have school on Friday so I went home on Thursday night. I convinced Jesse to skip work on Friday so we could spend the day together…haha it was…interesting. We drove to grand rapids to look at a truck that he wants to buy his dad for Christmas, it was…not my idea of a fun day together, but it ended up being really fun! We always have fun on our little road trips. The rest of the night Friday we just hang out, talked, watched movies…the norm.
Saturday morning I had to go back to school for a choir rehearsal..... boring. After it finally ended, I headed back home for about 5 minutes, then over to Jesses….again. We cleaned his whole house! It was fun, I love cleaning other peoples houses.
Saturday afternoon I headed over to one of my best friends, Casey's house. She is due in February with twins, one boy and one girl. She had her baby shower. It was pretty fun, I lost all of the games. People would think that I would win, and be really smart about baby stuff because of my big family and midwife mother, but the truth is….IM NOT. I held a baby earlier this week…it was awkward.
I felt bad, but I couldn’t wait for the shower to be over….not just because I wanted to get out of the room filled with chicks, but because tonight Jesse and I were going to see NEW MOON.
We got to the theatre at 730, haha to our surprise, on the 3rd night of its showings…..in 3 different theatres the 730, 8, 840 and 9 o clock shows were all sold out. We bought tickets for the 9:40 show and headed out to the mall to kill some time.
We got some dinner at Applebee’s and wondered around the mall looking for the boots I want…no luck there.
The time actually flew by and before we knew it the movies was starting….it was the best 2 hours of my life. I’m scared to talk about it because I don’t want to sound like an obsessed freak, but truthfully, that’s really what I am.
The rest of the weekend was blah compared to that Saturday night, we got some pizza, watched some movies and just hung out.
I was back in Bellevue and ready to settle down and go to bed when I realized that my homework and book bag with my papers that were due Monday morning were missing…awesome. Just my luck, I had to get up and drive back to my mothers and get my stuff. I ended up just staying and getting up extra early to drive to school Monday morning.
I love every second I spend the Jesse and it kills me to think that in exactly one month today, he will be gone.
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