Oh come all ye faithful

Wow this week has been just nuts.
Everything went from being really normal and nothing new to all of a sudden being crashed into with events. Sadly none of them are very good events.
My mom had surgery, which is a good thing but still a bad thing. She is left at home with no one but Naomi and Leah to take turns caring for her and I feel horrible that it could not have been planned out more so I could come and take part in the daughterly duties. Im sure she will be fine and be up and around again in no time, my mom is a strong women. But because shes a strong women we dont get many chances to take care of her.
Also my little brother is in Jail. I am so broken by this. He made a stupid mistake and now is being punished beyond his crimes as far as Im concerned. I cry for him every time I think about him being in there. I just remember him as this little fat baby drooling all over everyone. I cut his umbilical cord when he was born. It breaks my heart into so many pieces. My poor mother is distraught about this of course, as Im sure I would be too. He will be in there over Christmas, New Years, and our baby brothers 7th birthday. I am planning a trip out there in January and I so hope he will be home safe and sound for my visit.

Speaking of Christmas, I made so much junk food this week! I made chocolate rice krispie treats, puppy chow, sugar cookies, and two kinds of cake balls! Everything is so delicious but by the end of the day I feel so sick I swear Im not going to eat any of it the next day. That lasts long :)
I would love to do more really deep hard core baking but contrary to popular belief, I just dont have the time to be in the kitchen concentrating for that long uninterrupted. Sometimes its like I will be watching the kids and I will turn around and get a cup and turn back around and they have gotten into something. They are just so crazy and fast!
I have had a couple melt downs myself this week but I have been doing so much better it seems. I admit, I stamped my foot today I was so mad. I was instantly reminded of the part in Eclipse when Bella stomps her foot and Jacob says "Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on tv" and I probably would have laughed if my foot didn't hurt so bad. They are just so much those little children. They wear me out and make me so tired...but they're so darn cute I really can only be angry at them for a second no matter what they do.

I went out alot this week. Which is very unusual for me! I went to Target to get christmas decorations on like Tuesday I think, and then the next day Ryan said he didn't like them so I took them back and got different ones.....which we again decided we didn't like so we decided not to decorate the outside of the house this year. To much work. So I took stuff back again! I think I have been in Target almost every day this week for something or other. I really dont mind though, I like getting out of the house, however short the trip may be. It really helps me clear my head and come back with fresh eyes and a new mind. Anyway, thats all from me for now. Til next week-

Be Safe.
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First off, I’m sorry about my absents last week, I was “in the depths of despair”. haha actually that wasn’t the case at all, I was busy, but busy in a good way. I was being loved and spoiled to death by the man of my dreams, shopping trips, dinners, movies, presents, surprises and more! I didn’t want to miss out on a single second of any of it, so I didn’t. I have never felt more important, and cherished by someone than I do now. I cant even begin to describe how happy I am with Jesse. We have so much fun together, it doesn’t matter if we are doing everything or nothing at all, I love it.
I also did a lot of Christmas shopping last week, Thursday with Leah, Saturday with Annie and Monday with Jesse. Good thing I love shopping or I might be sick of it by now, but…IM NOT
This week has definitely been ALL about Jesse, we spend every second possible together. Sometimes I feel like he’s gonna get sick of me and want some time alone, but as soon as I feel myself feeling that way, my phone rings and I hear his cheery voice questioning me “what do you want to do today” or “what should we do today”, I know I sound mushy and annoying, but I just LOVE him so much its amazing.
I am getting a little nervous, almost scared about him leaving. I know that everything will work out fine and we will be together again soon, but I don’t want to lose any of the love I have for him right now, I don’t want to forget the things we have done together or forget how much he means to me. Hopefully him leaving will only make me love him more and want to be with him more. Wow he is all I never talk about, I'm annoying, but I cant help it sometimes……It blows my mind that in just 11 days, he will be gone.
Because Jesse is leaving the day before Christmas, his family is having a little Christmas party for him this Sunday, it should be fun, a little depressing, but of course I have to put on a smile and be as happy as possible. I am trying to get it worked out so I will be able to visit Rachel in California after Christmas, I think it will be good for me, and good for her too. I am a good babysitter and I haven’t seen those children in a long time! The only way I can get Amelia to talk on the phone to me is by pretending I'm “aunty little bear” haha she cracks me up.
Well hmm other than that…its snowing, freezing and I'm hungry. Oh yes and Iv decided to start my own recipe book! (thanks Rachel)